独立

On One’s Own

城市里的人时常会对出家人提出这样一个问题：“你们能结婚吗？不结婚怎么行呢？不孤独寂寞吗？”仿佛世间的一切安乐都必须通过结婚方能领略。

People in the city often raise these questions to those who have taken the monastic ordination: “Are you allowed to marry? How will you get on without being married? Won’t you be lonely and feel lonesome?” These questions infer that all the pleasures in the world cannot be experienced unless one lives a married life.

记得一位在家人曾向我倾诉婚姻生活的种种苦恼：人人都知道婚姻是爱情的坟墓，一旦结婚，恋爱时仅存的一点浪漫也灰飞烟灭，只剩下无止境的责任和矛盾。首先是生子，如果不生，别人会认为你身体或心理有问题。一旦生下来，就要为他的成长发育操劳。等他读了书，就要为他的学习操心。然后是他的工作、家庭、孩子，从此仿佛套在一副永远不能卸下的纤绳上，直至离开人世。

However, a layman once confided to me the troubles of a married life as follows: It is known to all that marriage is the tomb of love. When lovers get married, any little sentiment of romance vanishes, leaving behind only endless responsibilities and conflicts. First there is the baby. Without procreating people suspect you have problems, either physically or mentally. Once the baby is born, we must make ourselves subservient to his growth and development. When he goes to school, we are concerned about his studies. This is followed by worries over his job, family, children, and on and on without a break, as if we are tethered to a rope that can never be undone, until we die.

是啊！人人都自以为这样才是在为社会尽责，但历史的车轮却永远也不会因你的婚姻生活而停滞。细想起来，婚姻生活又有何用呢？

It is so true! Everyone believes that this is how one fulfills his duty to society. However, the wheels of history will never stop moving because of your marital status. Come to think of it, what on earth is a married life good for?

其实，出家的生活才是最潇洒、自在、快乐的。安乐不一定要在人群当中获得。天上的月亮，因为具有独立的品德而傲视群星；山涧的松树，因为具有不挠的精神而参天屹立；洞里的行者，因为具有快乐的源泉而获得大安乐。

In fact, the ordained life is a life most unrestrained, carefree, and pleasant. Happiness does not have to come from being in a crowd. High up in the sky, the moon outshines all the stars, thanks to its sublime qualities. Near the mountain brooks, pine trees stand tall and reach to the sky, thanks to their indomitable spirit. In the meditation cave, the recluse attains great bliss, because he has tapped into the fountain of happiness.

博朵瓦说过：“现在的人将大量的时间用于筹划未来，他们不懂得，一个修行人要耐得住寂寞，独立自主很重要。”臧巴加惹也说：“如果想幸福快乐，就应选择独处。食物丰盛的时候，就可以尽情饕餮，无须与人分享；如果(食物)匮乏，也怡然自得，不必担忧有谁需要养活，当然快乐无比。即使挨冻受饿，也由独自承担，所以十分幸福。”

Geshe Potowa says: “Nowadays people invest a huge amount of time to plan for the future. But they are unaware that for a practitioner to withstand loneliness, it is important to become self-reliant first.” Tsangpa Gyare also says: “If you want happiness, choose to live by yourself. When food is abundant, enjoy it to your heart’s desire; there’s no need to share with others. If food is scarce, you still feel at ease because there is no worry to feed others, and you are happy. Even during perils like cold and starvation, you can endure them all by yourself. This kind of life is a pleasant one.”

喀巴格西也说：“顽冥粗暴易怒自利者，增长有漏眷仆无则妙。吾之眷属乃智慧精进，成办一切所需无疲厌。”

Geshe Khapa says: “Worldly people are rude, brutal, irascible, and selfish, I am better off without having them as my retinues. The subjects I keep are diligence and wisdom; they never tire me and can fulfill all that I need.”

最后，再将巴 瓦的一段言教赠予大家“具有财富名望之时，唯命是从随声附和；无力损害利益之时，以恩护养也相轻凌。恶时眷属极难有利，独自烹调世人皆知，不离亲眷乃自妙手，无须欺诳诈现威仪。独自享乐悠闲舒畅，苦行饮食无穷无尽。独自生计何处皆觅，独自衣衫怎样皆暖。绝地妙火炽热十分，独自安住何等亦胜，无我茅棚逸然温馨。”

Lastly, I offer everyone a teaching from Geshe Bawa:
When you possess great wealth and fame, people are obedient and submissive to you.
When you become powerless to exert any favor or damage, you are humiliated, even by those who have been cared for by you.
In degenerate times, it’s difficult to benefit or care for followers. Prepare your own meals and do not order people around.
The best and most reliable attendant is our own pair of hands; there is no need to put on a pretense for them.
Enjoying good things by oneself is relaxing and delightful.
For an ascetic the food supply never exhausts, sustenance for one person is easy to find everywhere.
Clothes for one readily give enough warmth; practicing Tummo Yoga brings excellent heat.
The pleasure of living by oneself is indeed great, cozy and sweet is my thatched hut, toward which I hold no clinging.

壬午年三月二十八日　
2002年5月10日 　

28th of March, Year of RenWu
May 10, 2002