魅力

Magic Power

一位修行人向我讲诉了他最近的一些感受：

A Dharma practitioner confided to me his recent experiences:

因为自己修行不够、障垢深厚，在面对纷至沓来的各种外境时，被强烈的我执所控制，明知自己是作茧自缚，却难以自拔。前段时间烦恼深重到难以自制的程度，我甚至想到了死。

A while ago I was deeply besieged by all kinds of problems. With my insufficient training and heavy burden of obscurations, I responded with strong self-attachment. Even knowing well I was falling into a pit of my own digging, I had no way to extricate myself. My troubled emotions went haywire to the extent that I even contemplated committing suicide.

当然，作为一个佛教徒，我不会选择这条无异于深渊的道路，米拉日巴在面对困境准备自杀时，俄巴喇嘛的一段话令我至今记忆犹新：“自身的蕴、界、处就是佛陀，在寿命未终的时候，即使行转识法，都有杀佛之罪。”更何况，心性本自清净，只因见境思境，才会产生迷乱，才会引发痛苦。我怎能对眼前的迷幻产生实执呢？我反复地“开导”自己，但在业障现前却不能排遣时，那种痛彻心肺的疼痛却是永生难忘的。

As a Buddhist, of course I knew too well that I should steer away from this track that leads nowhere but to an immense crevasse. I recall clearly that when Milarepa was about to kill himself, Lama Ngokpa restrained him and said: “The faculties and the senses of each of us are innately divine. If you die before your time, even by the transference of consciousness, you commit the sin of killing a Buddha.” Moreover, our mind is primordially pure; it is only the confused emotions prompted by external circumstances that cause us to suffer. How can I take the hallucinating appearance as real and true? Again and again, I tried to persuade myself. Yet as evil karma played out in an unstoppable way, the piercing pain that crushed me will never be forgotten.

一天，我迈着沉重的步伐，走到窗口。望着街头熙熙攘攘的人群，看着他们为衣食、为名利而奔波的忙碌身影，我忽然意识到自己是多么的幸福。当他们因为无明愚痴而为自己开辟了通往恶趣的通衢大道，自己却浑然不觉时，我却掌握了即生解脱的至尊法宝。虽然我还没有摆脱痛苦，但通过所学的道理已经能审慎取舍以减少痛苦的因，并尽力去认识痛苦的本性，可以说离解脱已经不远了。然而，还有那么多的人却仍将直面无穷尽、无了期的苦痛。想想他们，自己的痛苦又算得了什么呢？一次又一次，我在上师三宝前发自内心地发下了普度众生的弘愿，如果连“我”的怪圈都不能走出，普度众生就成了一句苍白的台词。

Until one day, I dragged my heavy legs to the window and saw on the street crowds busily coming and going, all striving for food, clothes, fame, and money. Suddenly, I realized how lucky I have been! As their ignorance and feeble minds open up the throughway to lower realms, they are still totally oblivious of their calamities. In contrast, I have in my hand the supreme instruction for gaining liberation in this very life. Although I am not yet free from suffering, at least I can choose carefully what to do and what to avoid and thus minimize the causes of future sufferings; with one more step to recognize the true nature of suffering, I can say liberation is right there. My suffering really amounts to nothing when compared with those of many others who still face endless and unfathomable miseries. Repeatedly, in front of the Three Jewels, I pledged from the depths of my heart to liberate them. Now, if I cannot manage to break free from the queer trap of self-grasping, all my vows are but insipid lines of a play.

我知道，消除我执目前唯一的选择就是祈祷上师三宝，忏悔罪障、发菩提心。经过一段时间的努力，我终于走出了那段低谷，而且，即使将来再遇到违缘时，我想我也能有条不紊地面对了。应用佛法，我走出了困境，变得更加坚强，这对于一直身处顺境的我，无疑是上了一堂生动的实践课，令我对轮回是苦产生了切身的体会，对世间产生了并非造作的厌离心。如果没有这些烦恼，我也不会有这些收获，感谢三宝的加持，使我能从违缘、痛苦中发现人生的巨大价值——为救度众生而圆证无上菩提。我将生生世世为这一目标而努力！

The only choice to rid myself of self-attachment that I know of is to pray to the teacher and the Three Jewels, to purify my defilement, and arouse bodhichitta. After working hard for a while, I finally found my way out of the dark abyss and, should similar obstacles arise again in the future, I believe I can handle them more skillfully. Making use of Buddha’s teachings, I am now out of the woods and have become more resilient. For me, a person who has been living a sheltered life, the whole episode is a life lesson teaching me the sufferings of samsara; by experiencing them personally, genuine renunciation has taken birth in me. Come to think of it, this realization would not have dawned on me had I not been plagued by problems in the first place. I thank the blessings of the Three Jewels that have rescued me from the pits of hindrances and pains, and that I have discovered the immense value of human life—to attain enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. This, and only this, is the goal that I will be striving for life after life!

听了他的讲述，我为他在遭遇困难时，能以正知正念对治而深感欣慰。当我们面对世间的葛藤、牵绊而束手无策时，通过佛法，永远能找到对治的途径。这，就是佛法的魅力。

I feel deeply gratified after hearing his story that he has overcome difficulties with proper Dharma remedies. Whenever we are at our wits’ end about the entanglement of mundane affairs, it is high time to apply Buddha’s teachings as antidotes. This, then, is the magic power of the Dharma.

壬午年六月十八日 　
2002年7月27日 　

18th of June, Year of RenWu
July 27, 2002