Chapter Two： FILIAL PIETY

父母呼，应勿缓，父母命，行勿懒。
父母教，须敬听，父母责，须顺承。
冬则温，夏则凊，晨则省，昏则定。
出必告，反必面，居有常，业无变。
事虽小，勿擅为，苟擅为，子道亏。
物虽小，勿私藏，苟私藏，亲心伤。
亲所好，力为具，亲所恶，谨为去。
身有伤，贻亲忧，德有伤，贻亲羞。
亲爱我，孝何难，亲憎我，孝方贤。
亲有过，谏使更，怡吾色，柔吾声。
谏不入，悦复谏，号泣随，挞无怨。
亲有疾，药先尝，昼夜侍，不离床。
丧三年，常悲咽，居处变，酒肉绝。
丧尽礼，祭尽诚，事死者，如事生。

应，读去声，作动词用，回答之意；不可读平声，而解作应该。呼，是高声叫唤：父母或者在远处，或者在别个房间，所以当父母需要我们时，就会提高了声音来叫。假如我们不马上答应，父母或者会以为我们不在，或者会以为我们没听见。于是一叫再叫的，嗓子叫哑了都有可能；再不然就是发起脾气来了！这都很伤健康的。真孝顺的孩子，不会希望父母伤身体，更不会装聋作哑，甚至于被叫烦了，还反过来怪父母。

1.When Mother and Father are calling, answer them right away.
When our parents are far away or in another room, they may call out to us when they need us. If we do not respond right away, they may think that we are not around or that we did not hear them, and they will keep calling until they become hoarse or lose their temper, neither of which would be good for their health. A truly Filial child would not want his parents to ruin their health like that. He would not pretend to be deaf or mute when his parents called him, and he would not dare to disobey them even if he is annoyed at being called.

命是当面吩咐，或者是很威严地命令，或者是很和蔼地交待，总之都得赶快去做，不要找藉口，拖拖拉拉的，或是阳奉阴违，当面答应却背后捣鬼；又或者做得心不甘情不愿的，甚至人前，背后发牢骚。这都不可以的。

2.When they give you directions, obey them without hesitation.
When our parents tell us to do something, whether sternly or gently. we should obey them right away and not look for excuses to procrastinate. We shouldn’t act obedient in front of our parents but then disobey them behind their backs; nor should we do things in a reluctant manner and keep complaining in front of our parents or behind their backs.

教，在这里也是个动词，念平声，教导。父母的人生经验比我们丰富，当他们在指导我们怎么待人，处事，接物时，我们都要恭恭敬敬地仔细听明白，牢记在心。不可以当那话是耳边风，看父母像老骨董。所谓“众人是我师，我是众人师。”别人不管好的不好的，都可以做我们的一面镜子，何况是对自己的父母？父母说得对，要听从；说得若不合理呢！也可以拿来做参考改进之用，怎么可以不恭敬呢？

3.When your parents need to instruct you, respectfully do as you’re told.
Our parents are much more experienced than we are, and so when they instruct us on how to communicate with other people and how to handle various situations, we should listen respectfully to their words, make sure we understand them, and remember them by heart. We shouldn’t think our parents are too old-fashioned and simply let their words go in one ear and out the other. It is said, "All people are my teachers, and I am everyone’s teacher." Whether other people are good or bad, we can always learn something from them; how much the more can we learn from our parents! We should listen to our parents if they are right, of course; and if they are unreasonable, we should still be respectful to them, but not follow their example.

再说假如我们做错了，或者不能满父母的心意，父母免不了要责备，或者疾言厉色地骂一顿，或者只温和地教训几句。不管怎么样，都要温驯地接受，不可争辩，更不可强词夺理来惹父母伤心生气。

4.Whenever your parents must scold you, acknowledge your errors and faults.
If we do something wrong or we let down our parents’ wishes, they may scold us severely or gently remonstrate with us. No matter how they react, we should compliantly accept their admonition, and not argue with them or make them angry or upset.

为什么把这四项放在孝道之首？因为这是居家生活中，最常面临的事情。父母子女间是否慈爱、孝顺，在这些日常应对中，最容易反映出来。若做子女的，做不到这些，却说有孝心，任谁也不相信的。可是我们人哪！最容易在这些日常的小事上忽略过去，以为没什么要紧；殊不知日积月累的，就足以伤透父母的心了！口口声声：“我是有那个孝心的！”有心无行，又有什么用？

Why are these four sentences placed at the beginning of the discussion on filial piety? They deal with the most common situations that occur in our homes. We can easily tell from observing the daily interactions between parents and children whether the parents are loving and the children are filial. If the children claim to be filial and yet fail to practice these four basic rules in daily life, who will believe them? Unfortunately, we tend to neglect these small matters of daily life and think that they are no big deal. We don’t realize that if we gradually accumulate these bad habits, we may end up breaking our parents’ hearts. What’s the use of claiming to be filial if we don’t actually practice?

以前中国古时有个叫丁兰的男子，性情十分粗鲁，对相依为命的母亲总是非打即骂，自己还不觉得那是不孝。有一天，他在田里工作，忽然看见小鹿是跪着吃母鹿的奶，再看看枝头的小乌鸦，忙进忙出的找食物喂老乌鸦；他猛然省悟到自己比禽兽还不如，决定等下母亲送饭来时，要好好表现一下孝行。

In ancient China, there was a man named Ding Lan who was a rough fellow. Although he and his mother had only each other to rely upon, he often scolded and beat his mother without any sense of shame for his unfilial conduct. One day when he was working in the fields, he suddenly noticed a fawn kneeling down to drink its mother’s milk. He also saw some young crows busily looking for food to feed their aging mother. Reflecting on the way he treated his own mother, he realized that he was not even as good as an animal. He made up his mind to be filial to his mother from then on.

母亲送饭来得晚了，正急得害怕要挨打了，一见儿子朝他奔来，吓得饭盒一丢，返身就逃。丁兰一看更急得边追边叫妈，母亲边跑边哭：“唉呀！我这回被抓到，准被打死了！真苦命啊！这样活着没意思啦！”见着池塘就跳了下去；等丁兰赶到，水面只浮着一块薄木板，再也找不到母亲了！于是乎，悔恨交加的丁兰便把木板当作母亲，写上母亲的名字，供奉起来。这就是中国人供奉祖先牌位的由来。

But it just so happened that on that particular day, his mother was late in sending lunch to him, and she was afraid she would be scolded and beaten again. As she hurriedly walked toward her son, she saw Ding Lan running toward her. Terrified, she dropped the lunch box and turned and fled. When Ding Lan saw his mother running away, he shouted out and ran even faster, trying to tell her his intention. His mother cried as she ran, thinking, "If he catches me this time, he’ll beat me to death for sure! What misery! It’s meaningless to live in this world!" And so when she reached the riverbank, she threw herself in and committed suicide. When Ding Lan reached that place, he saw only a piece of wood floating on the river. Knowing that he would never see his mother again, he picked up the wood and took it home, where he treated it as his mother. He carved his mother’s name on it, set it on the altar, and made offerings to it. And thus the Chinese custom of setting up memorial plaques to their ancestors began.

虽然丁兰省悟了自己过去忤逆母亲的不孝，但已是“树欲静而风不止；子欲养而亲不待了！”所以孝顺父母要及早，更要从这些每日的应对做起，培养自己的恭敬心，那便是孝的初步了！

Although Ding Lan deeply regretted his rebellious behavior, it was too late. So there is a saying, "The tree wants to be still, but the wind keeps on blowing: a child wishes to repay his parents’ kindness, but they are gone." If we want to practice filial piety, we should start early by developing a respectful attitude toward our parents when we interact with them in daily life. That is the first step to being filial.