Fifty Years on the Path of Dhamma
- by S. N. Goenka

(The following is a translation of an article by S. N. Goenka published in the September 2005 issue of the Vipasyana Patrika. It has been adapted for the Vipassana Newsletter.)

1 September 1955! An extremely important day of my life! The incurable and unbearable migraine headaches, which had been a terrible curse, now became a boon for me. I joined the Vipassana meditation course of my revered teacher, Sayagyi U Ba Khin, for ten days. I had serious doubts about the course. Still I went for the course and gained astonishing benefits from the course. This is well known.

My main reservation about Vipassana was that it was a Buddhist meditation technique. What if it made me leave my Hindu religion? What if I became a Buddhist? Surely I would go astray and become debased if I left my religion! Though I had devotion towards the Buddha, I had nothing but disdain for his teaching! Even then I joined the course because Sayagyi convinced me that in the Vipassana course, nothing else would be taught other than sīla (morality), samādhi (concentration of mind) and paññā (wisdom). How could a Hindu like me or any person of any religion object to morality, concentration of mind and wisdom?

Living a life of morality, developing mastery over the mind and purifying the mind by developing wisdom-how can any reasonable person object to these three teachings? I wanted to get rid of my mental defilements such as anger and egotism that resulted in a life full of tension and was the root cause of the migraine headaches. In addition, the family in which I was born and the atmosphere in which I grew up gave great importance to the ideal of abstaining from unwholesome conduct, practice of moral conduct and keeping the mind free from negativity. Therefore, I was reassured to some extent when Sayagyi stated that this is what the Buddha taught and only this will be taught in the Vipassana course, nothing else. Still, some doubt lingered. I decided that I would practice only sīla, samādhi and paññā in the course and would not accept anything else.

I thought that it was indeed true that there were good things in the Buddha Dhamma and that was why it had been accepted and honoured in so many countries and by so many people. But all the good elements had been taken from our Vedic texts. I decided to stay away from the rest.

At the end of the ten days, I saw that in accordance with Sayagyi’s statement, nothing other than sīla, samādhi and paññā was taught in the course. The claim that this technique gave results here and now proved to be true. The practice of only ten days had started to eradicate my mental defilements. My tension started to decrease and, as a result, the migraine was cured. I was also relieved forever from the misery caused by the morphine injections and the need to take sleeping tablets. Daily practice of Vipassana weakened my mental defilements. My misery started decreasing. I did not find any fault in the technique. It was totally flawless. I could not see any harm in the technique. It was truly benevolent.

In the first course itself, my spiritual search was fully satisfied. I found Vipassana so pure that I did not feel the necessity to go anywhere else in search of another meditation technique. To develop in Vipassana, every day I meditated one hour in the morning and evening and joined at least one ten-day course every year. Sometimes, I joined a long course of one month, which gave me a deeper understanding at the experiential level. I found Vipassana very rational and logical, practical and scientific. There was no place for blind belief in it. There was no insistence on a belief just because my teacher had said it or the Buddha had said it or it was given in the Tipiṭaka. One understood the teaching at the intellectual level, then at the level of experience, and only then accepted it. One did not accept without knowing, without understanding and without experiencing.

The Arya Samaj made me a rational thinker and kept me away from blind beliefs. This, itself, was a great benefit. Vipassana went further. It liberated me from dry intellectual philosophical arguments and the frenzy of sentimental devotion and taught me to experience true spirituality. Accepting whatever truths I actually experienced, I progressed further and experienced subtler truths. I continued to examine whether my mental defilements were becoming weaker or not. The emphasis of the teaching on actual improvement in the present appealed to me. I understood that if the present improved, the future would improve automatically. If this life improves, the next life will improve automatically. It also became clear to me that I was fully responsible for defiling my mind. Why should any external invisible force defile my mind? Similarly, I alone had the responsibility of purifying my mind. The teacher would, with great compassion, show us the path. But I would have to walk on the path step by step. I became free from the delusion that someone else would liberate me.

This technique did not teach me to develop contempt or aversion towards invisible gods and goddesses but taught me to develop mettā for them. The sentiment of "Apni mukti, apne hatha, apna parisrama, apna puruSartha - our liberation is in our own hands; it depends on our own diligence and efforts," did not result in egotism but generated humble awareness of my own responsibility. I liked this self-reliance. I was filled with rapture on recalling these words of a poet: "Svavalanbana ki eka jhalaka para nyauchavara Kubera ka koSa - renounced is the treasury of Kubera (the god of wealth) for one glimpse of self-dependence." My life was transformed. I felt as if I had been born anew.

1954 was the last year of the first Buddha sāsanā of 2500 years. In this year, I came in contact with the Buddha sāsanā for the first time when I was appointed as a member of the food organization committee for providing vegetarian food during the Chattha Sangayana. 1955 was the first year of the second Buddha sāsanā. In this year, I learned Vipassana meditation. It seems that this first year of the second Buddha sāsanā was the sunrise of my good fortune. The final year of the first Buddha sāsanā was the dawn signaling this auspicious sunrise. The fifty years of this Dhamma journey have made my life meaningful, made it successful. I feel blessed.

May the rest of my life be dedicated to Dhamma.

Wayfarer on the path of Dhamma,
S. N. Goenka