母亲

My Mother

离开喇荣已有160天了，这是母亲今天在电话里提醒我的。可见她日日都在挂念着远方的不孝之子。

You have been away from Larung for 160 days—this was what my mother reminded me on the phone today. So every day, she is concerned with her undutiful son who is now living in a distant place.

如同世上所有的母亲一样，母亲对我的成长和修行付出了很大的代价。在艰苦的岁月里，母亲含辛茹苦、忍辱负重，表现出极大的忍耐力和善良的品格。

Like all the mothers in the world, my mom paid dearly for my upbringing and spiritual practice. Throughout the rough years, she endured humiliation and shouldered heavy burdens, fully reflecting her extreme tenacity and kind heart.

我2岁的时候，一次突患疾病。母亲背着高烧不退、奄奄一息的我，深一脚、浅一脚地向几十公里外的县城走去。路上不知摔了多少跤，吃了多少苦，马不停蹄地走了整整两天两夜。看到昏迷不醒的我终于从死魔的嘴里逃脱出来，母亲淌满汗水的脸上才绽开了笑颜。

Once when I was 2 years old, I became ill suddenly. My fever wouldn’t drop and I was at the verge of dying. Carrying me on her back, my mom trudged one step after the other toward the county town scores of kilometers away. For two full days and nights, she walked nonstop; the number of times she stumbled and the difficulties she encountered on the road could not be counted. I was unconscious in the grip of the Lord of Death until finally, I managed to break free from the ordeal. It was only then that a smile appeared upon on my mother’s sweltering face.

在我儿时的每天晚饭之后，全家人都会围着火塘，母亲就开始念诵她每日的必修课——《极乐愿文》，红红的炉火映着她年轻如花的脸庞，使我生起一种像面见度母一样的圣洁感。娓娓的诵经声仿佛来自于空行刹土，在帐篷间久久回荡……这种耳濡目染的熏陶建立了我最初对佛法的认识。直到如今，每当看到或听到《极乐愿文》的颂词，母亲念诵经文的声音就会在耳边回响。我至今尚能完整地背诵《极乐愿文》，母亲实在是功不可没。

In my childhood, every night after dinner our whole family would sit around the fire pit and my mom would start her daily must-do homework—reciting The Aspiration Prayer to Be Born in the Pure Land of Great Bliss. The fire cast a reddish glow on her blossoming young face; I was struck with a sense of pure awe as if beholding the immaculate Tara in person. Her vivid recitation and chanting were like melodies coming from the Dakini Land, reverberating in our tent on and on…. This subtle influence led to my early understanding of Buddhism. To this day, whenever I hear or read the Aspiration Prayer to Be Born in the Pure Land of Great Bliss, my mother’s chanting voice resounds in my ears. I owe it greatly to her that I can still remember the entire prayer to this day.

记得我七八岁的时候，母亲还算年轻，脸色白里透红，眼睛像黑色的宝石，牙齿洁白如雪。一天，我与母亲在山上放牧，山上的树木郁郁葱葱，牧草青翠欲滴，花朵五彩缤纷。我们一起捉起了迷藏，当我从花丛中找到母亲时，觉得她像仙女一般美丽。也许这印证了汉地的一句说法：“儿不嫌母丑，狗不嫌家贫。”

I remember when I was around 7 or 8, my mom was still quite young, her white porcelain face had a reddish tint, her eyes were like jet-black jewels, and her teeth were as white as the snow. One day I went herding with her on the mountainside. Up there the trees grew lavishly and the verdant pasture was dotted with colorful flowers. We played hide and seek and, when I spotted her hiding among the flowers, I felt she was just as beautiful as the divine maiden. Perhaps that’s what is meant in the Han Chinese proverb: “Never does a son see his own mother as ugly; never does a dog see its own master as poor.”

如今，岁月的刀斧已将母亲的脸刻得沟壑纵横，两腮凹陷、牙齿脱落，脚也一瘸一拐，几近残废，整天只有拿着一根手杖挪动着沉重的身躯。如果我提起她年轻时代的卓卓风姿，谁也不会相信。岁月不饶人啊！

These days, the carving knife of time has chiseled deep lines on my mother’s face, her cheeks are now sunken, and her teeth have fallen out. With legs almost crippled, she can only move her heavy body jerkily with the aid of a cane. Should I recount her agility and stunning beauty in her youth, no one would believe me. Indeed, time pays no mercy to anyone!

父母的恩德是难以估量的，佛陀在《父母恩重难报经》中宣说了父母的种种恩德。阿底峡尊者也说：孝敬父母与修大悲空性无别。记得曾有一位居士将此话告诉父母，令父母对佛法生起信心，因而皈依了佛门。

The kindness of parents is inconceivable. The Buddha recounts in The Sutra about the Deep Kindness of Parents and the Difficulty of Repaying It our parents’ many acts of kindness. Master Atisha also teaches that to be filial and respectful to one’s parents is no different from practicing emptiness, which has compassion as its very essence. This teaching was once related by a lay practitioner to his parents, which aroused in them great faith in the Dharma and consequently they took refuge in Buddhism.

但藏族有一句话：“母心如水，子心如石。”母亲的心如水一般柔软，儿子的心却如石头一般坚硬。当很多人意识到父母的艰难，想孝敬时，父母已撒手人寰。

A proverb in Tibet goes: “As flowing water is the mother’s heart; as a rocky stone is her son’s.” A mother’s heart is as tender as water, while her son’s is as hard as a rock. When people at last appreciate their parents’ hardships and want to pay them back and look after them, the parents have already left this world.

“树欲静而风不止，子欲养而亲不待。”

To be calm and still is the tree’s wish, yet the wind keeps on blowing.
To offer respect and care is the son’s wish, but his parents have already gone.

所以，趁着父母还健在，应该好好地孝敬老人。

Therefore, we should pay due respect and attention to our parents while they are still living.

“慈母手中线，游子身上衣，临行密密缝，意恐迟迟归，谁言寸草心，报得三春晖。”

A thread moves in a mother’s loving hand,
Making a garment for her traveling son.
With all of her affection she is sewing and sewing,
For fear he’ll ever be roving and roving.
Who says the little soul of grass waving
Could ever repay the warmth of the generous sun?

其实，对母亲最大的报答莫过于令其学佛，诚信三宝。令我安慰的是，母亲虔信佛法，并已出家，这也算是我略尽的孝道吧。

In fact, there is no greater way to repay a mother’s kindness than to lead her to embrace Buddhism and arouse in her faith in the Three Jewels. It’s a consolation to me that my mother is a devout Buddhist and she has taken monastic ordination. Perhaps these could be counted as my little accomplishments in my filial duties.

母亲，不要牵挂您这个不孝之子。您好好念佛，祈祷三宝，我病好了会尽快回来的。

Mom, please do not worry too much about this undutiful son of yours. Just concentrate on your recitation of Buddha’s name and praying to the Three Jewels. I’ll be back home as soon as I recover from my illness.

壬午年二月初四　　
2002年3月18日

4th of February, Year of RenWu
March 18, 2002