FROM THEN ON I ACCELERATED MY EFFORTS. It was at that time that I began sitting in meditation all night long, from dusk until dawn. While sitting one night I started focusing inward as usual. Because it had already developed a good, strong foundation, the citta easily entered into samadhi. So long as the citta rested there calmly, it remained unaware of external bodily feelings. But when I withdrew from samadhi many hours later I began to experience them in full. Eventually, my body was so racked by severe pain that I could hardly cope. The citta was suddenly unnerved, and its good, strong foundation completely collapsed. The entire body was filled with such excruciating pain that it quivered all over.

从那时起我加紧用功，也在那个时候我开始坐通宵，从傍晚至黎明。有一晚开始时我一如既往向内专注，由于它已建立起良好、坚强的基础，心轻易地进入三摩地。只要心在定中休息，它就不会觉知外在身体的感受，当我在定中数个小时之后退出来，我可以充分地感觉到它。不久，我的身体剧烈疼痛起来，到令我难以忍受的地步。心突然失去力量，它那良好，坚强的基础全面崩塌，整个身体疼痛得颤抖起来。

Thus began the bout of hand-to-hand combat that gave me insight into an important meditation technique. Until the unexpected appearance that night of such severe pain, I had not thought of trying to sit all night. I had never made a resolution of that kind. I was simply practicing seated meditation as I normally did, but when the pain began to overwhelm me, I thought: “Hey, what’s going on here? I must make every effort to figure out this pain tonight.” So I made the solemn resolve that no matter what happened I would not get up from my seat until dawn of the next day. I was determined to investigate the nature of pain until I understood it clearly and distinctly. I would have to dig deep. But, if need be, I was willing to die in order to find out the truth about pain.

结果，这开始了一场肉搏斗，并且最终让我洞见一项重要的禅修技巧。在发生出乎意料之剧痛的那一夜之前，我不曾想过要坐通宵，也从不曾发过类似的愿。我只是像往常一样坐禅，可是当被疼痛淹没时，我想到：“嘿，到底怎么了？我今晚一定要尽全力搞清楚这疼痛。”我遂发了一个庄重的愿：无论发生什么，不到隔天破晓我绝不下座。我下定决心要检查清楚并明白疼痛的本质，我会深深地挖掘，如有需要，我愿意为找出疼痛的真相而献出生命。

Wisdom began to tackle this problem in earnest. Before I found myself cornered like that with no way out, I never imagined that wisdom could be so sharp and incisive. It went to work, relentlessly whirling around as it probed into the source of the pain with the determination of a warrior who never retreats or accepts defeat. This experience convinced me that in moments of real crisis wisdom arises to meet the challenge. We are not fated to be ignorant forever—when truly backed into a corner we are bound to be able to find a way to help ourselves. It happened to me that night. When I was cornered and overwhelmed by severe pain, mindfulness and wisdom just dug into the painful feelings.

智慧开始真诚地应对这个问题。在这之前我发现自己已被逼入绝路，没想到智慧会那么锋利尖锐。一开始工作，智慧就像个绝不放弃、不投降的战士般，坚定不休止地朝疼痛的根源不断回旋探查。这一次的经验让我深信，遇到真正的危机时，智慧会挺身而出面对挑战，我们不是命中注定要永远愚痴的——真正被逼入绝境时，我们有能力寻找解决的方法。那天晚上，这情形发生在我身上，被剧痛淹没逼入绝境时，念住和智慧钻入痛觉中。

The pain began as hot flashes along the backs of my hands and feet, but that was really quite mild. When it arose in full force, the entire body was ablaze with pain. All the bones, and the joints connecting them, were like fuel feeding the fire that engulfed the body. It felt as though every bone in my body was breaking apart; as though my neck would snap and my head drop to the floor. When all parts of the body hurt at once, the pain is so intense that one doesn’t know how to begin stemming the tide long enough just to breathe.

开始时我手脚背疼痛得像电灼般，不过这实在算是轻度的了。疼痛到达极端时，四肢百骸像在熊熊烈火里那般的痛，所有的骨头、关节好像被浇燃料遭烈火吞噬般。身体里面的每一根骨头似乎都断裂粉碎了，我的颈项好像折断而头掉到地面上了，身体的每一部分同时遭受剧痛，疼痛剧烈到连耐着喘口气都不行。

This crisis left mindfulness and wisdom with no alternative but to dig down into the pain, searching for the exact spot where it felt most severe. Mindfulness and wisdom probed and investigated right where the pain was greatest, trying to isolate it so as to see it clearly. “Where does this pain originate? Who suffers the pain?” They asked these questions of each bodily part and found that each one of them remained in keeping with its own intrinsic nature. The skin was skin, the flesh was flesh, the tendons were tendons, and so forth. They had been so from the day of birth. Pain, on the other hand, is something that comes and goes periodically; it’s not always there in the same way that flesh and skin are. Ordinarily, the pain and the body appear to be all bound up together. But are they really?

危机令念住与智慧无法可施，唯有深入挖掘疼痛，找出最强烈的疼痛点，念住和智慧探索观察疼痛最强的部位，尝试把它隔离以便可以清楚检视之。“这疼痛的根源在哪里？谁在承受疼痛？”它们对每一个部位问这问题，发现每一个部位都只有它们自身的特质罢了。皮肤是皮肤，肌肉是肌肉，腱是腱，以此类推，自从出生以来它们就是这个样子。另一方面，疼痛则在某段时间来去，不像肌肉皮肤般始终在那里。通常疼痛和身体似乎是一体，可是，真相确实是如此吗？

Focusing inward I could see that each part of the body was a physical reality. What is real stays that way. As I searched the mass of bodily pain, I saw that one point was more severe than all the others. If pain and body are one, and all parts of the body are equally real, then why was the pain stronger in one part than in another? So I tried to separate out and isolate each aspect. At that point in the investigation, mindfulness and wisdom were indispensable. They had to sweep through the areas that hurt and then whirl around the most intense ones, always working to separate the feeling from the body. Having observed the body, they quickly shifted their attention to the pain, then to the citta. These three: body, pain and citta, are the major principles in this investigation.

往内专注，我可以看到身体的每一部位都是一个真实的物体。真实的就这样存在。我搜寻身体内那团疼痛时，我可以看到某一点比其他部分强烈。如果疼痛和身体是一体，而身体的每一部位都同样真实，那为什么某一部位的疼痛会比其他部位来得强？我尝试把每个层面分隔开来。在观察工作中，念住和智慧不可分离，它们扫描疼痛的部位然后在最剧烈处回旋，不断把感受从身体分隔开来。观察了身体之后，它们快速地转移过去注意疼痛，然后是心。这三个：身体、疼痛和心，是主要的观察对象。

Although the bodily pain was obviously very strong, I could see that the citta was calm and unafflicted. No matter how much discomfort the body suffered, the citta was not distressed or agitated. This intrigued me. Normally the kilesas join forces with pain, and this alliance causes the citta to be disturbed by the body’s suffering. This prompted wisdom to probe into the nature of the body, the nature of pain and the nature of the citta until all three were perceived clearly as separate realities, each true in its own natural sphere.

虽然身体的疼痛是那么强烈，我却看到心平静不受影响，不论身体遭受多么强烈的不舒适，心不受干扰折磨。这引起我的兴趣，通常烦恼会和疼痛联合，然后这结合体令心受身体的痛苦扰乱。这引起智慧探索身体的本性、疼痛的本性和心的本性，直到三者清楚地认知出是不同的真实，每一真实都有各自的领域。

I saw clearly that it was the citta that defined feeling as being painful and unpleasant. Otherwise, pain was merely a natural phenomenon that occurred. It was not an integral part of the body, nor was it intrinsic to the citta. As soon as this principle became absolutely clear, the pain vanished in an instant. At that moment, the body was simply the body—a separate reality on its own. Pain was simply feeling, and in a flash that feeling vanished straight into the citta. As soon as the pain vanished into the citta, the citta knew that the pain had disappeared. It just vanished without a trace.

我清楚看到，是心给感受定义为疼痛和不舒适。不然，疼痛就只是一种自然现象，它不是身体的一部分，也不在心里面。当这个道理变得透彻时，疼痛瞬间消失。那时，身体就只是身体——其本身是一个分开的真实。疼痛只是感受，在一瞬间感受直接在心中消失。疼痛在心中消失的同时，心知道疼痛已经消失，消失到不留痕迹。

In addition, the entire physical body vanished from awareness. At that moment I was not consciously aware of the body at all. Only a simple and harmonious awareness remained, alone on its own. That’s all. The citta was so exceedingly refined as to be indescribable. It simply knew—a profoundly subtle inner state of awareness pervaded. The body had completely disappeared. Although my physical form still sat in meditation, I was completely unconscious of it. The pain too had disappeared. No physical feelings were left at all. Only the citta’s essential knowing nature remained. All thinking had stopped; the mind was not forming a single thought. When thinking ceases, not the slightest movement disturbs the inner stillness. Unwavering, the citta remains firmly fixed in its own solitude.

此外，这个色身从觉知中消失。那时我完全没有意识到身体，只剩下单纯和谐的觉知独自存在，就是这样。心精致微细得那么难以形容，它只是知道——一个内在非常精致的觉知弥漫着。身体完全消失，虽然色身仍然坐在那儿，可是我完全没有意识到它。疼痛也消失了，完全没有身体的感觉。只是心知道的根本特性存在，所有的思想停止下来，意识连一个念头也没有生起。当思想停息时，连一丝最微细的波动都没有，内在的平静不受干扰，心不动摇牢牢地独自存在。

Due to the power of mindfulness and wisdom, the hot, searing pain that afflicted my body had vanished completely. Even my body had disappeared from consciousness. The knowing presence existed alone, as though suspended in midair. It was totally empty, but at the same time vibrantly aware. Because the physical elements did not interact with it, the citta had no sense that the body existed. This knowing presence was a pure and solitary awareness that was not connected to anything whatsoever. It was awesome, majestic and truly magnificent.

念住与智慧的力量使得那烈火般煎烤身体的疼痛完全消失，连我的身体也从意识中消失。能知独自存在，仿佛悬浮在半空中，它全然的空，但同时又充满活力地觉知。因为身体的元素不再与它互动，心就不再感受到身体的存在。这个能知只是一个单纯独立的觉知，和任何东西都没有联系，它令人敬畏、宏伟，实在的庄严。

It was an incredibly amazing experience. The pain was completely gone. The body had disappeared. An awareness so fine and subtle that I cannot describe it was the only thing not to disappear. It simply appeared, that’s all I can say. It was a truly amazing inner state of being. There was no movement—not even the slightest rippling—inside the citta. It remained fully absorbed in stillness until enough time had elapsed, then it stirred as it began to withdraw from samadhi. It rippled briefly and then went quiet again.

这是不可思议、令人惊叹的经验。疼痛完全消失，身体也不见了，唯一剩下的只是一个那么精细微妙无法形容的觉知，我所能说的是它仅仅是存在罢了。这是一个真正令人惊叹的内在境界。心里面没有活动——连最微细的波动都没有，它完全渗入这定境中，直到过了足够的时间，开始从三摩地中退出来时才波动，它微微波动之后再静止下来。

This rippling happens naturally of its own accord. It cannot be intended. Any intention brings the citta right back to normal consciousness. When the citta absorbed in stillness has had enough, it begins to stir. It is aware that a ripple stirs briefly and then ceases. Some moments later it ripples briefly again, disappearing in the same instant. Gradually, the rippling becomes more and more frequent. When the citta has converged to the very base of samadhi, it does not withdraw all at once. This was very evident to me. The citta rippled only slightly, meaning that a sankhara formed briefly only to disappear before it could become intelligible. Having rippled, it just vanished. Again and again it rippled and vanished, gradually increasing in frequency until my citta eventually returned to ordinary consciousness. I then became aware of my physical presence, but the pain was still gone. Initially I felt no pain at all, and only slowly did it begin to reappear.

这个波动是自动自发的，不能故意为之，任何作意都会把心带回平常的意识状态中。当心渗入在定中够长时间了，它就开始波动，它觉知到波动短暂荡漾然后就平息下来。过一阵子它再次短暂波动，并在同时间消失。逐渐的，波动的次数越来越频密。当心集中定在三摩地的根本时，它不会一下就退出来，这对我而言很明显。心只是稍微波动，意思是说行(sankh?ra)短暂形成，在还未被认清楚之前就消失了。一波动就消失，一次又一次，波动了就消失，然后慢慢地增加次数直到心逐渐退回平常的意识。接着我意识到身体，不过疼痛已消失无踪，开始时完全没有疼痛，慢慢的它才回来。

This experience reinforced the solid spiritual foundation in my heart with an unshakable certainty. I had realized a basic principle in contending with pain: pain, body and citta are all distinctly separate phenomena. But because of a single mental defilement—delusion—they all converge into one. Delusion pervades the citta like an insidious poison, contaminating our perceptions and distorting the truth. Pain is simply a natural phenomenon that occurs on its own. But when we grab hold of it as a burning discomfort, it immediately becomes hot—because our defining it in that way makes it hot.

这次经验带来不可动摇的证信，加强我内心坚实的修行基础。我觉悟到与疼痛搏斗的基本道理：疼痛、身体和心全部是明显分开的现象，但是由于一个心理染污——无明——它们合成一体。无明就像无色无味的毒药渗透入心，染污我们的认知并且扭曲事实。疼痛只是自发的自然现象，我们紧抓着以为它是燃烧的痛苦，它就立刻变热——因为我们的诠释使它变热。

After awhile the pain returned, so I had to tackle it again—without retreating. I probed deep into the painful feelings, investigating them as I had done before. But this time I could not use the same investigative techniques that I had previously used to such good effect. Techniques employed in the past were no longer relevant to the present moment. In order to keep pace with internal events as they unfolded I needed fresh tactics, newly devised by mindfulness and wisdom and tailor-made for present circumstances. The nature of the pain was still the same, but the tactics had to be suitable to the immediate conditions. Even though I had used them successfully once before, I could not remedy the new situation by holding on to old investigative techniques. Fresh, innovative techniques were required, ones devised in the heat of battle to deal with present-moment conditions. Mindfulness and wisdom went to work anew, and before long the citta once again converged to the very base of samadhi.

一会儿之后疼痛回来了，我得再次上前对付它，深入探索疼痛的感受，就像之前那样观察它。可是现在我不能用回和上次同样的观察技巧，尽管那带来良好的效果。这是因为那之前用过的技巧与当下的状况不相应，为了跟得上内部浮现的状态，我需要针对眼前的发展，以念住和智慧设定新的技巧。疼痛的本质还是一样，可是技巧得适应当下的情境。即使以前已成功应用过一次，可是我不能用回这些旧技巧应付新情况，而是依据当下战斗的剧烈程度采用不同的、创新的技巧。念住和智慧重新工作，不久心又再次集中到三摩地的根本。

During the course of that night the citta converged like this three times, but I had to engage in bouts of hand-to-hand combat each time. After the third time, dawn came, bringing to a close that decisive showdown. The citta emerged bold, exultant and utterly fearless. Fear of death ceased that night.

这晚的修行，心这样集中入定三次，每一次我都必须贴身搏斗厮杀。第三次之后，破晓了，决定性的格斗终于落幕。心表现得勇猛、踊跃和绝对的无畏。那晚，死亡的恐惧消失了。