Chapter Three﹕ FRATERNITY

兄道友，弟道恭，兄弟睦，孝在中。
财物轻，怨何生，言语忍，忿自泯。
或饮食，或坐走，长者先，幼者后。
长呼人，即代叫，人不在，己先到。
称尊长，勿呼名，对尊长，勿见能。
路遇长，疾趋揖，长无言，退恭立。
骑下马，乘下车，过犹待，百步余。
长者立，幼勿坐，长者坐，命乃坐。
尊长前，声要低，低不闻，却非宜。
事诸父，如事父，事诸兄，如事兄。

有一对联语说得好﹕

天下无不是的父母，
无父母时方知；
世间最难得者弟兄 ，
有弟兄时不觉。

There is a couplet that says:

There is nothing in the world that does not come from parents;
we realize this only when we are without parents.
Brothers are the hardest to come by in the world.
But we don’t realize it when our brothers are around.

人伦肇始于父母，其次乃有兄弟师长，所以「孝悌」二者，斯为伦理教育的基础 。所谓「基」，是造屋的地基，要先奠定地基，房子才能够搭盖起来；础，是屋柱的盘石，若不立稳盘石，房子就容易倾斜崩坏。但孝悌二者，却又不是那么狭义，只顾自己的父母兄弟而已；我们还要把「孝」扩充到伯叔诸舅，甚至一切长辈上，把「悌」也扩充到堂表兄弟姐妹，甚至一切同辈晚辈上。换句话说，也就是扩充到一切人，一切有情生物上，这就是佛家「无缘大慈，同体大悲」精神的极至。以下我们会讲到如何讲信修睦，待人接物；现在我们回头来谈基本的「孝悌」，做个结束。

Our closest human relationships are with our parents, and secondly with our brothers, teachers, and elders. Therefore, filial piety and fraternal respect are the foundation for education in human ethics. When one builds a house, one must first lay a solid foundation. The foundation stones of the pillars of the house have to be set securely, or else the house may topple. Filial piety and fraternal respect are not be taken in the narrow sense of referring only to one’s own parents and brothers. Filial piety should be extended to our uncles and all our elders. Fraternal respect should expand to include our cousins and all others who are of the same generation or of later generations. In other words, these virtues should encompass all people and all sentient beings. This is the ultimate significance of the Buddhist spirit of "great kindness for those with whom we have no affinities, and the great compassion of being one with all." The later verses discuss the cultivation of trustworthiness and harmony in one’s social interactions and handling of affairs. For now we will return to and conclude the discussion of the basic virtues of filial piety and fraternal respect.

人伦关系如蜘蛛织网，由内而外，循序渐进，层次分明。居中织网的蜘蛛是「 仁」，其放射网所及之处都是「义」，所经之径就是「礼」。因此伯叔诸舅和堂表兄弟姐妹，就是在孝悌自已父母兄弟姐妹后，须要孝悌的对象；这是仁爱的第二层发挥，合理合宜。我们敬爱父母兄弟姐妹，父母也敬爱他们的兄弟姐妹；父母慈爱我们，伯叔诸舅当然也慈爱他们的子女。因此敬爱堂表兄弟姐妹，也就是善体伯叔诸舅之心，也就是孝顺伯叔诸舅；而孝顺伯叔诸舅，就是善体亲心，更是孝顺父母了。古人说﹕「伯叔如亲父」、「见舅如见娘」，都是这个意思。

Human relationships are like spiderwebs, spun from the inside out proceeding in orderly succession with clearly defined levels. The spider at the center of the web is "humaneness," the places its web reaches are "righteousness," and the paths it takes are "propriety." After one has practiced filial piety and fraternal respect toward one’s own parents and siblings, one should focus on one’s uncles and cousins. That is the second level of humaneness, and is in accord with principle. We love and respect our parents and siblings, and our parents love and respect their siblings; our parents love us, and our uncles of course love their own children. Therefore, when we love and respect our cousins, we are empathizing with our uncles, which is to be filial to them. Being filial to our uncles is in turn empathizing with our parents, which is to be filial to our parents. The ancient sayings: "Our paternal uncles are like our own father," and "When we see our maternal uncles, it’s like seeing our own mother," express this principle.

秦穆公和晋文公是中国春秋五霸中的两位霸主，秦穆公的夫人是晋文公的长姐。晋文公早年为逃避继母骊姬的迫害，流亡各国；到秦国时，秦穆夫人已去世了，秦穆公的世子真有「见舅如见娘」之感。晋文公临别时，秦穆公世子依依难舍，充分流露着孺慕之情。《诗经》里那首「渭阳」，就是秦康公在即位后，思念舅舅晋文公的作品。可见古人的性情，确是比较淳厚，我们怎能不快快恢复固有道德呢？

Lord Mu of the state of Qin and Lord Wen of Jin were two feudal lords during the Spring and Autumn Period of Chinese history. Lord Mu’s wife was the elder sister of Lord Wen. In his youth, Lord Wen fled from his oppressive stepmother Liji and wandered through various states. When he arrived in the state of Qin, Lord Mu’s wife had already passed away. and Lord Mu’s son, the crown prince, really felt that he was seeing his own mother when he saw Lord Wen, his uncle. When Lord Wen was about to leave, the crown prince could hardly bear to let him go; he was filled with yearning. The poem "Wei Yang" in the Book of Odes speaks of Lord Kang of the state of Qin, after assuming the throne, remembering his maternal uncle, Lord Wen. From this one can see how much more virtuous and filial the ancients were. We should quickly return to the virtuous ways of old.