素食就是尊重生命
EATING A VEGETARIAN DIET LENDS DIGNITY TO ALL LIFE
傅春泰 文 by Fu Chwun-tai
生长于一个与佛教十分有缘的家庭里，母亲在我小时候便已长年茹素，而我与其余的家人则仍荤食如故。直至国中三年级时，我因脚跌伤，母亲便发愿全家吃素，然而我仍然阳奉阴违，外出时便又恢复肉食，大吃特吃。此时素食对我而言，是痛苦的应付，毫无悲念可言。外婆家以务农为生，只要一放假，到外婆家的田地山野间，时常伤害各种小生命，诸如鱼虾之类，因此造了许多杀业。
或许因杀业过重，成长的过程中挫折不断，但因此让我产生了些许反省的作用。又其时环保观念在台初兴，让我惊觉眼前生态环境的巨变，一些无可复返的景象及生物，在我们不经意间，和视为理所当然 的攫取、捕杀及开发下，永远地消失破坏了，面对新生的一代，我们如何自圆其说 呢？过度耗费自然资源，甚或破坏未来万物生存的机会，其罪深矣，然此时的我， 并未了解素食与这之间的关联，而仍依着习气所为。
高中三年级时，出了一场几乎夺走我生命的车祸，但也因此改变了我的生活观。许多朋友都认为我与从前判若两人，其实真正改变的是，我对生命的态度和认知。犹记当时脑部手术后，在一般病房休养时，由于丧失了一段记忆，父母告诉我车祸后至医院抢救时的情况，医师说我仅有百分之五十的生存机会；还有脑部受伤所引发的痉挛挣扎的景况，与加护病房中危脆生命的瞬逝，以及求生诸像，活脱如地狱、天堂交会处一般。
某日，已出家的姊姊来看我，在百感交集的病房生涯中，我想了许多的问题，我对他提问：「何为素食之真义？」她答我：「素食乃尊重生命的表现。」又问我：「你现在珍惜自己的生命吗？」当下刚从鬼门关走回来的我，被如此简单而深切的答问给震醒了。这种由爱惜自己推及尊重所有生命的素食内涵，是多么自然，多么 可贵啊！此时又让我思及环保的精神与此 正是不谋而合，同归一源。
朋友对我的转变十分惊讶，或有试着在我面前荤食而考验我者，然我观念既已修正(任何荤贪便很自然地不具诱惑力；又或有谓反正不是自己所杀，故当可食者，则我回答他，以市场供需而言，消费促进生产供应，所以荤食亦促杀业之生。
今天写这篇文章，以一人真实经历，以诚实不夸之语，记我从好杀好食众生，到今天能乐于吃素的转变。愿能为杀劫益重之今日植一善缘种子，以期益利众生；另外也在此对以往的好杀，做一深切之忏悔，愿因无知或有知而造杀业者，能更增善念，则甚幸。
I grew up in a family which has great affinities with Buddhism. In my childhood, my mother was already a full-time vegetarian; while the rest of the members of the family still ate meat. Once during the third year of my junior high school studies, I broke my leg. Mother made a vow that all of us would eat a pure vegetarian diet. I, however, pretended to obey the rule and yet ate meat extravagantly. I really indulged in it whenever I was out. At that time, it was a great sacrifice to comply with mother's rules; my vegetarianism had nothing to do with compassion. My grandmother-in-law's family made their living as farmers. Whenever I spent a holiday in the fields and mountains by her house, I often harmed and killed little creatures like fish and shrimps, so I created huge amounts of killing karma.
Perhaps because of the heavy killing karma, difficulties never ended during my growing period; yet my troubles gave me a chance to reflect within. Moreover, the idea of environmental protection had just begun in Taiwan, and I was startled to witness the drastic changes in the ecological environment before us. Some landscapes have been altered forever; some living creatures have been captured and killed. Even though we did it unconsciously, we took nature for granted, and these species have been forever destroyed and are now extinct. Facing the newborn generation, how do we explain ourselves? We have committed a serious offense, to have exhausted the natural resources and to have harmed all creatures' chance at life in the future. I, however, still followed my bad habits and failed to understand the connections between the destruction of the environment and eating vegetarian food.
A car accident almost took my life in the third year of my senior high school days. My outlook on life was thus totally changed. Many friends say that I have become an entirely different person; what has really changed, however, is my awareness of life in general and my attitude towards life. I still remember after the brain surgery, I was recuperating in the general ward and my parents told me about the situation that happened after the accident. They said I was rescued in the hospital, and that the doctors said I had only a fifty percent chance to survive. The convulsions and struggling were caused by the injury to my brain. I saw that life is so fragile! In the Intensive Care Unit it easily passes away and the sights I saw during my struggle for life were remarkably like the place that lies between heaven and hell.
One day, my sister, a nun who had left the householder's life came to see me. I had thought of many questions during my stay in the recovery room. I was full of many feelings. I asked her, "What is the real meaning of eating vegetarian food?" She replied, "It indicates your respect for life." "Are you cherishing your own life now?" she asked. Having just returned from the gate of hell, I was brought awake by this simple and profound question. How natural and admirable! How right it is that the meaning of eating vegetables came from cherishing one's own life, which then develops into respect for all lives! It makes me think of vegetarianism's connection with the spirit of environmental protection: they arise from the same source.
The change in me surprised all my friends. Some tested me by eating meat in front of me; however, once my view was corrected, meat no longer tempted me anymore. Some people tried to convince me that since the meat was not killed by me, so it was all right for us to eat it. My answer to them was: according to the demand in the market, consumption promotes supply and production. And that's why eating meat helps create the karma of killing.
I have written this essay about my own experience; I have written sincere words to describe my change from being fond of killing and eating the flesh of living beings, to one who delights in eating vegetarian food. I wish to plant a good-conditioned seed to benefit the living beings of today, a time when killing appears more and more in the world. And also I wish to repent deeply of all the karma of killing that I created, intentionally or not. And it will be even more fortunate if I may thus increase in good thoughts, if that is possible.
