Being Detached

绝情

从世间的角度来讲，绝情是不合常理的。有言曰：“非亲有意应可敬，是友无情不可交。”然而，真正看破红尘的修行人，不顾及情面，远离恶浊之熏染，是非常有利的。

From the perspective of the secular world, to be a detached person doesn’t seem quite proper. An adage says: “Respect those who care about you, even if they are not your relatives; dissociate from those who forsake you, even if they are your friends.” However, for a seeker who feels disillusionment with samsara, it is advisable to stay away from corrupting influences, even if it may seem inconsiderate to others’ feelings.
　　
普穹瓦(1031-1109)，曾依止仲敦巴11年，是噶当派三大格西之一，也是噶当派口诀系的开山祖师，他曾说过：“如果孜孜不倦地实修，则如同铠甲上的鳞片，一旦掉落下来，就再也不能拼合复原。同样，真正修持正法的人，也不可能再与贪婪今世之凡夫俗子同流合污了。如果对迎合曲从之行深恶痛绝，就会与世间那些为魔所牵引的人格格不入。他们不高兴、不满意，是他们自己的事。即使他们诽谤讥讽，也决不低眉逢迎。哪怕除了一星半点的口粮之外，别无所剩，在此期间也应安闲从容地修持善法。如果善法增上，自然可利益他众。”所以，我们平时没有必要看别人的脸色，对别人唯命是从。要有自己的主见，小范围暂时的顾及情面，只会影响究竟的修法。如果“捡了芝麻，丢了西瓜”，那就不划算了。

Phuchungwa (1031–1109) studied with Dromtonpa for 11 years, he was one of the three great geshes of Kadampa and the founder of its pith lineage. He once taught: “The scales on a shield, once they fall off, cannot be pasted back on to where they were. Likewise, by practicing genuine Dharma assiduously, you can cast off completely your ties with greedy worldly people. You come to detest any act that caters to others’ wants, and you can no longer live in agreement with those controlled by negative forces. Do not be bothered by their displeasure or complaints of you. That’s their business. Decide that you’ll never yield just to please others no matter how severely they slander or criticize you. Practice the Dharma consistently with grace and ease, even when sustenance is running out save for a few mouthfuls of food. When your positive qualities become dominant, you will benefit others spontaneously.” There is no need, therefore, to submit always to others’ whims and be a yes-man. Stick to your principles. Trying to spare others’ feelings for short term minor issues will obstruct your ultimate pursuit on the Dharma path. Does it pay to be “pennywise but pound foolish?”

亲友、眷属、财物、威望，这些世间人苦苦追求的目标，究其本源，都是痛苦的虚假幻象。臧巴加惹说过：“贪嗔的根源是故乡；痛苦的根源是家庭；贪欲的根源是财物；散乱的根源是顾情，这一切均应舍弃。”克怎巴针对眷属之过患曾感慨道：“侍者、厨师都是令善法散乱的因，今生不应交往其他人，顾及情面的墙应彻底坍塌。”巴 瓦也说过：“威望越大苦越多，敬上护下事不断，关爱平等积财富，接送痛苦无了时。万物具备难得乐，以厌离心依静处。”

All the things people pursue so tirelessly—relationships, friendship, wealth, and fame—are in essence nothing but phantoms of suffering. Tsangpa Gyare says: “The root of greed and anger is your homeland; the root of suffering is your family; the root of avarice is money; the root of distraction is emotional attachment. Therefore, renounce all of them.” Khetsun Bartsen once lamented the faults of keeping subjects: “Your attendants and cooks all distract you from true Dharma. Sever your associations with worldly folks. Make no more acquaintances in this life; let the wall of fastidiousness to affection fall.” Pawo expressed the same sentiment: “The more famous you become, the more trouble you have; serving the chief and managing subordinates involve numerous activities; you have to distribute allowance and attention without bias to all your subjects, otherwise their coming and going will pester you to no end; having it all will not bring you happiness. Therefore, seek a place of solitude with genuine renunciation.”

作一个“绝情”的人，即使亲朋好友想不通，也只会对他们有利，而不会对他们有害的。

As you are becoming a “detached person,” your friends and relatives may be baffled. Even so, this will only do them good; no harm will come to them whatsoever.

壬午年四月初一
2002年5月13日 　

1st of April, Year of RenWu
May 13, 2002