Chapter Two： FILIAL PIETY

父母呼，应勿缓，父母命，行勿懒。
父母教，须敬听，父母责，须顺承。
冬则温，夏则凊，晨则省，昏则定。
出必告，反必面，居有常，业无变。
事虽小，勿擅为，苟擅为，子道亏。
物虽小，勿私藏，苟私藏，亲心伤。
亲所好，力为具，亲所恶，谨为去。
身有伤，贻亲忧，德有伤，贻亲羞。
亲爱我，孝何难，亲憎我，孝方贤。
亲有过，谏使更，怡吾色，柔吾声。
谏不入，悦复谏，号泣随，挞无怨。
亲有疾，药先尝，昼夜侍，不离床。
丧三年，常悲咽，居处变，酒肉绝。
丧尽礼，祭尽诚，事死者，如事生。

中国俗语说：“礼尚往来。”人家有一分好意，我们回敬一分；人家笑脸相向，我们也板不起面孔。这是很自然的人际关系，更何况父慈子孝是天性！所以父母疼爱我们 ，照顾我们，我们孝顺父母是本分，根本就不能自以为是了不起的大孝子了！

Chinese proverb says: "Propriety requires that we return the favor." If someone wishes us well, we should return the courtesy. If others smile at us, we cannot frown back. This is very natural in human relationships, especially in the relationship between a kind father and a filial child. If our parents love us and take care of us, it’s only right for us to be filial to them; we certainly cannot consider ourselves extraordinary filial children for doing so.

假若父母根本就无暇或不愿照顾我们，甚至厌恶我们，我们还能孝养父母、承顺父母，那才是特别的，有贤德的。

However, if we are able to be filial, caring, and obedient to our parents when they fail to care for us and may even hate us, then we are truly exceptional and virtuous. Worldly affairs occur in the realm of dualities.

世间法本是相对，一般凡夫总是投桃报李，或以牙还牙。“投桃报李”是《诗经》里的典故，比喻彼此的友好与互惠；“以牙还牙”，则是彼此的仇恨和报复。我们就因为被相对律牵着鼻子走，不时纠缠于恩怨情仇间，彼此造业；以致从无始劫来，生生世世互为冤亲，轮回无已，所以才叫做“生死凡夫”。

Ordinary people are always either "returning the gift of a peach with a plum" or "taking a tooth for a tooth." "Returning the gift of a peach with a plum" comes from a story in theBook of Odes and represents mutual kindness between friends. "Taking a tooth for a tooth" refers to mutual revenge between enemies. Led by the law of dualities, we are forever entangled in the karmic web of kindness and enmity. Since time without beginning, we have gone through life after life, sometimes playing the role of friend, sometimes being the enemy. We are mortals subject to birth and death.

倘若我们能破了这个相对，而以绝对的慈心和不变的悲愿，去恭敬安乐他人，去容恕救助他人，无怨无悔，那出世间法就在其中了！因为冤亲平等，就宿业渐消，新业不造，哪还有生死轮回？所以想求佛道，了生死，必先要学做人，而做人的首要道理就是尽孝；不管父母是否慈爱，都能尽足孝顺之道，便跨出成功的第一步了！

If we can smash through dualities and use a heart of total kindness and vows of constant compassion to respect and bring joy to others, to encompass, rescue, and help others, without grudges and regret, then we’ll transcend the world！ If we can view enemies and friends the same way, gradually getting rid of past karma and refraining from creating new karma, how can we remain in the turning wheel of birth and death? If we wish to seek Buddhahood and end birth and death, we first have to learn how to be a proper person. The first principle of being a proper person is to be filial. If we can fulfill our filial duty regardless of whether our parents are kind and loving, we will have taken the first step.

中国自古就特别讲究孝道，认为“百善孝为先”、“万行孝为首”，因此孝子的故事不胜枚举。譬如闵子骞，在父亲知道继母百般虐待他的真相，而要赶走继母时，他却极力予以挽留；又如大舜，虽然父亲受继母蛊惑，屡思害死他，他受尧禅让帝位后，对父母仍孝事不匮。

Since ancient times China has emphasized filial piety. "Of the hundred good deeds, filial piety is foremost." "Among the ten thousand practices, filial piety is ranked first." There are countless stories of filial children. One example was Min Ziqian. When his father discovered how cruel his stepmother had been to him and wanted to throw her out, Min Ziqian interceded on her behalf. And although Great Shun’s stepmother had deluded his father into plotting to kill him, after inheriting the throne from Emperor Yao Great Shun continued to serve his parents with great filial piety.

在西方的道德文化中，虽无“孝”和“因果”的字眼，却并非全无孝的观念。西方人的孝，蕴含在仁慈的美德里头；西方的故事，也不乏善有善报的例子，如家喻户晓的灰姑娘和白雪公主。又如傻瓜杰克，虽然受尽父母和两个聪明哥哥的轻视与欺侮，甚至将他连哄带骗赶出门，他仍不以为忤；后来由于他乐善好施(聪明人总认为笨蛋才这么做) 的果报，他莫名其妙地竟娶了公主，又当了国王，他却还把父母兄长接来一起享福。

Although the terms "filial piety" and "cause and effect" are not well-known in Western culture, the concept of filial piety is not wholly unfamiliar, for it is included in the idea of kindness. The moral of goodness being rewarded by goodness is also illustrated in Western fairytales such as "Cinderella" and "Snow White." In "jack and the Beanstalk," although Jack was cheated by his parents and two clever elder brothers, who drove him out of the house, he didn’t mind. When, as a result of his goodness and generosity (in clever people’s eyes, he did what only fools would do), he found himself married to a princess and becoming the king, he invited his parents and brothers to share in his fortune.

不像现代的孩子，很容易就怪父母忽略自己，不了解自己，以致自暴自弃，动不动就思报复，这实在是旧日道德观已沦丧之故。

Nowadays, in contrast, children often give up on themselves and bear grudges against their parents, blaming their parents for neglecting them or for failing to understand them. How far this is from the moral values of old！

虽然这些都只是儿童故事，不是真的；但我们国家未来的主人翁，若能熏陶于这种仁慈的美德下，要挽回暴戾的风气，应该还有希望。语云：“祸福无门，唯人自召。”很多有好福报的人，也都是孝子。而能以德报怨，孝事恶父母的，则更是孝子中的孝子了，上天哪会忍心弃绝于他呢？

Even though these are merely children’s tales, if they can instill the qualities of kindness and humaneness in our children—the future leaders of the country--then there is stilt hope for averting the crises of violence in our society. A proverb says： "Calamities and blessings are not fixed; we bring them upon ourselves." Many people who enjoy blessings are filial children. Those who can repay malice with kindness and be filial to hateful parents are the most filial of filial children, and Heaven will never forsake them！