Chapter Three： FRATERNITY

兄道友，弟道恭，兄弟睦，孝在中。
财物轻，怨何生，言语忍，忿自泯。
或饮食，或坐走，长者先，幼者后。
长呼人，即代叫，人不在，己先到。
称尊长，勿呼名，对尊长，勿见能。
路遇长，疾趋揖，长无言，退恭立。
骑下马，乘下车，过犹待，百步余。
长者立，幼勿坐，长者坐，命乃坐。
尊长前，声要低，低不闻，却非宜。
事诸父，如事父，事诸兄，如事兄。

萧伯纳是英国一位很有名的剧作家，他的剧本很受欢迎；可是因为他出身寒微，还是有一些贵族瞧不起他。有一次，他应邀去参加一个盛大的游园会，一个穿着很讲究的年轻人看见萧伯纳，就傲慢地冷笑着问：“听说你爸爸是裁缝，是不是？”萧伯纳微笑着回答：“不错！一点也不错！”

George Bernard Shaw was a famous British playwright whose plays are very popular. But because he was of low birth, there were members of the aristocratic class who looked down upon him. Onetime when he was invited to a big party, a well-dressed young man saw him and asked haughtily, "I heard your father is a tailor, is that so?" Shaw answered with a smile, "You’re absolutely right."

年轻人又问：“那么你为什么不学你爸爸呢？”听了这番蓄意侮辱的话，萧伯纳非但毫不生气，反而对那傲慢的年轻人说：“听说你父亲是位很有礼貌的绅士，是不是？”年轻人一本正经地回答：“不错！一点也不错！”萧伯纳便反问他:“那么，你为什么不学你父亲呢？”那傲慢的年轻人不懂敬老尊贤，结果是自取其辱。

The man said, "Why don’t you learn from your father? Even though this was quite an insult to Shaw, he showed not the slightest trace of anger. Instead he asked the man, "I heard your father is a very well-mannered gentleman, is that so?""Absolutely," replied the young man. "Then why don’t you learn from your father?" asked Shaw. That arrogant young man had not known how to respect his elder, and so he ended up insulting himself.

相反的，中国汉朝的张良，就因为敬老尊贤，才成就他的丰功伟业。有一天，张良路过一座桥，桥头坐着的老人，故意把鞋甩到桥下，叫他去捡；老人甩三次，张良也不厌其烦地捡三次，又替老人穿上鞋子，于是乎赢得了老人黄石公的嘉许，答应授给他一部奇书。张良就凭著书上出神入化的知识，做了刘邦的军师，而名列汉朝三大开国功臣之一。

In contrast, during the Han dynasty in China there was a man named Zhang Liang. This man was able to accomplish great deeds because he respected his elders. One day he happened to walk across a bridge. At one end of the bridge sat an old man. The old man deliberately threw his shoes under the bridge and told Zhang Liang to go pick them up. He repeated this three times, and Zhang Liang patiently retrieved the shoes three times and help the old man put them on. Thus he won the approval of the old man—the Huangshigong (Venerable Yellow Stone), and as a present the old man gave him a book. Zhang Liang used the esoteric principles in that book to help Liu Bang win his battles, and he became one of three men who helped found the Han dynasty.

从这两个小故事，我们可以看得出；愈是有内涵的人，愈是敬老尊贤，也愈是得到成就；反之，愈是肤浅无识的人，愈是倨傲，也愈是会受到羞辱。所以对人对事常存敬慎心和慈悲心，其实是利人又利己的。我们若是年幼无知，固然应该敬老尊贤；我们若是已有相当成就，还是要谦虚退让，绝对不可自恃卖弄。否则，小则个人受辱，大则就有毁身败家，甚至于破国之虞了。

From these two small anecdotes, we can see that the more virtuous and refined a person is, the more he will respect his elders and the more he is likely to succeed. Conversely, the more shallow and uneducated a person is, the more arrogant he is and the more he is likely to get insulted. If we are always cautious, respectful, and compassionate in how we treat people and handle matters, we are really benefiting others as well as ourselves. If we are young and don’t understand much, we should of course respect our elders. If we have some accomplishments, we should still be very humble. We cannot show off our talents, for if the matter is small we might get insulted, and if it’s big we might bring harm and embarrassment to our family. It could even be so serious as to bring the whole country to ruin.

这儿是一则小故事。一位艺术家坐小船渡河，他卖弄地问船夫：“你懂得美术吗？”船夫摇摇头。艺术家惋惜地说：“那么，你的生命就减少三分之一了！”过了一会，艺术家又问船夫：“你懂得音乐吗？”船夫漫不经心地回答：“不懂！”艺术家就说：“那么，你的生命只剩下三分之一了！”不久，风浪汹涌，小船颠簸得很厉害；船夫问艺术家 ：“你懂得游泳吗？”艺术家紧张地回答：“不懂！”船夫微笑着说：“那么，你的生命就要减少三分之三了！”朋友！但望我们都不会像那个艺术家一样幼稚啊！

Here is another anecdote. Once an artist was crossing a river on a small boat. He was showing off and asked the boatman, "Do you understand art?" The boatman shook his head. The artist said, "Then you’ve lost one-third of your life." Then he asked, "Do you understand music?" The boatman said, "Nope" The artist said, "Then you’ve lost another third of your life." All of a sudden a storm came up, creating a lot of waves. The boat rocked dangerously. The boatman asked the artist, "Can you swim? "The artist nervously said no. The boatman smiled and said, "Then you’ve lost three-thirds of your life" Dear friends, I hope we are not as ignorant as this artist!

很多人以为，现在的年轻人不知礼貌的居多；又说西方人比东方人不懂敬老尊贤。那倒也未必然！因为各个种族、阶层和年龄的人，都有善不善；何况礼仪是因地、因时而制宜的，岂能以不同种族、文化、习俗，而迳自分别？要知，人虽有东西、老少、贫富、贵贱，本性良善则一、吾人之所以有善不善之别，实是教育和环境影响所致。

Many people think that young people nowadays do not know their manners; or that Westerners are less respectful to elders than Easterners. But such ideas are not necessarily true. There are good and bad people in every race, every social class, and every age group. What is more, the rules of etiquette are set in accord with the time and situation. Why should we discriminate on the basis of differences of race, culture, and customs? Although there are differences of east and west, young and old, rich and poor, and noble and lowly, there is one thing that all people share in common--the basic goodness of the human nature. Whether a person develops a good or bad character depends upon his environment and education.

每个国家都有其纯朴的古风和合适的礼仪；但因为科学的进步，把世界缩小了，各自的传统礼仪，就有融和 、改变得更接近些的必要。这种新国民生活礼仪的制定，在取舍之间，不应以哪个国强大先进为标准，而是要合乎人情义理。人生转眼就七十，人都会老；少时不敬老，老时谁敬汝？所以教育下一代，应以礼敬诸贤长老为先，这样长幼有序，自然也就上下无争了。

Every country has its own age-old traditions and rules of etiquette which are suited to its people. But now that technology has advanced and the world has shrunk, the culture and traditions of every country must change a little so as to harmonize with those of other countries. In setting up new rules of etiquette, we should choose what is reasonable and proper, rather than taking the most "advanced" and powerful nations as a standard. Our life span passes in the blink of an eye. We will all age and get old. If we don’t respect elders when we are young, who will respect us when we are old? In teaching the next generation, our first priority is to teach them to respect their elders. Then there will be order between young and old, and naturally there won’t be fighting among people.

这段文叙述的是古代中国的礼节，时代、人事虽异，但礼的精神不可废。我们路上遇见了长辈，一定要主动而有礼貌地上前招呼；在长辈没有特别指示前，不要浮浮躁躁地，一副恨不得马上一走了之的样子。等长辈先行离去，我们虽不须等待他去了有百步之远才走，但至少也要恭敬地目送，不能掉头就走。若我们有急事待办时，也须先行告退，才侧身离去，绝不可大摇大摆的走开，这都是一种敬谨的表现。

These lines of "The Rules for Being a Student" describe rules of etiquette from ancient China. Although the times have changed, the spirit of these rites cannot be discarded. If we meet an elder on the road, we should take the initiative and greet him first. Before he has dismissed us, we cannot act as if we are in a rush to leave. We ought to let our elder leave first. Although we don’t have to wait until he has taken a hundred steps, we should at least respectfully see him off, not just turn around and leave right away. If we have urgent business and need to leave early, we have to excuse ourselves first; we can’t just turn and leave without any explanation. This is also a sign of respect and cautiousness.