从前曾子用一贯之理，总括他老师孔子的学说教化，说是﹕「夫子之道，忠恕而已矣！」只是「忠」和「恕」两个字，就包括一切待人处事的道理了？好像太简单了！可是这却是「三岁小儿道得，九十老翁行不得」的日常戒律。那么什么是忠恕？「尽己之谓忠；己所不欲，勿施于人之谓恕」。

Zeng Zi once summarized the doctrines of his teacher Confucius by saying, "The Master’s teaching does not go beyond loyalty and reciprocity ." How could loyalty and reciprocity encompass all the principles of dealing with people and handling affairs? It seems too simple! Actually, this is a common truth which a three-year-old child knows, but a ninety-year-old man finds difficult to practice. How do we define loyalty and reciprocity? Loyalty means doing your best. Reciprocity means not doing to others what you wouldn’t want done to yourself.

怎样才是尽己？我们且用造字的原则来分析。忠，是「中」、「心」二字合起来的；凡事处中，不偏不倚，无党无私，这就是忠。做任何事既不偏任何一方，也不私己，就是「尽己」--尽自己做人的本份。」

What does it mean to do your best? Let us look at the structure of the characters. "Loyalty" is composed of the characters for "middle" and "heart/center." To stay in the middle in what we do, without being biased or partial, is loyalty .If we do not favor any side, including our own, then we are doing our best to fulfill our basic human duties.

恕呢？是「如」、「心」二字合起来的；常常为人设想，爱人如己，存着「人溺己溺，人饥己饥」的心肠。恕道虽是儒家提出来的，但是对恕道的实践，却以佛家最为广大彻底。佛家不但是要平等待一切人，更进一步要平等待一切众生；不但「己所不欲，勿施于人」，更进一步要「众生所不欲，为众生除之；众生之所欲，必施于生」。这就是「无缘大慈，同体大悲」，对一切众生所厌恶的疾苦，皆感同身受，一律平等为其拔除；对一切众生所企盼的喜乐，不分缘深缘浅，一律平等爱护给予。我们若愿为众生拔一切苦，予一切乐，便是生起求智慧的心，能够觉今是而昨非了，这叫发菩提心。

The character for "reciprocity" is composed of the characters for "like/as" and "mind/heart." It means to always think on behalf of others, love others as oneself, and maintain the attitude that, "When others are drowning, it is as if I am drowning; when others are starving, it is as if I am starving." Although reciprocity is a Confucian concept, it is fully realized only in Buddhism. Buddhism teaches us not only to regard all people as equal, but to regard all living beings as equal. Not only must we refrain from doing to others what we wouldn’t want done to ourselves, we must do whatever we can to give living beings what they want. This is "great kindness for those with whom we have no affinities, and great compassion of being one with all." When we see living beings undergoing suffering which they loathe, we feel as if we are suffering with them, and we try to alleviate their suffering in an egalitarian manner. Regardless of how close to or far from living beings we are we bestow upon them equally the things that bring happiness. When we resolve to eliminate the sufferings of living beings and give them every sort of joy, we are in effect resolving to seek wisdom, acknowledging our past mistakes and starting anew. We are making the aspiration for Bodhi.

「菩提」就是梵语「觉悟、智慧」之意，这是菩萨的发心，种的是佛菩萨的圣因，可以说已经是个因地的菩萨；再要成为果地的菩萨，那就必须从发这个菩提心的当下，每日每时每分都不要忘失了这个菩提心；每日每时每分都脚踏实地去做这种菩提行。

(Bodhi is a Sanskrit word meaning enlightenment or wisdom.) This is the aspiration of a Bodhisattva, and it plants the holy cause for Buddha- and Bodhisattvahood. We could be considered Bodhisattvas in the causal stage. To become Bodhisattvas in the stage of fruition, we must never for a moment forget our Bodhi resolve, and we must at all times practice the Bodhisattva conduct in a down-to-earth manner .

人生世间，就有了接触；有了接触，就产生取与；在取、与之间又不免爱恶纠葛；有爱恶纠葛，于是乎恩恩怨怨缠绕，结果是苦苦恼恼不休：这都是源于智慧泯没不觉之故。要想放得下种种恩怨的情缘，先要提得起。

Once we are born into the world, we come into contact with others, and giving and taking naturally take place. In the process, there are inevitable feelings of like and dislike. People get entangled in the bonds of love and hate, and there is endless affliction and suffering. This is because wisdom has been buried and cannot manifest. If we wish to renounce the conditions of love and hate, we must first be able to accept things.

中国五代梁朝时，有个和尚契此。他不但长得高大，耳也大，肚皮更是大，成天就背个大布袋笑嘻嘻地到处走，到处化缘，所以人都唤他「布袋和尚」，久了也就忘了他的原名。人给他什么吃的、穿的、用的，无论好坏精粗，他一律装进布袋里。那布袋说也奇怪，从不会多得装不下或少得装不满，总是不大不小，不胀不瘪，就那一个样儿。

During the Liang Dynasty (of the Five Dynasties Era in China), there was a monk named Qi Ci who was tall and had big ears and an even bigger belly. All day long he went around carrying a big cloth bag and wearing a big grin on his face, collecting donations. Everyone called him the Cloth Bag Monk, and after a while his real name was forgotten. If people gave him food, clothing, or articles, regardless of whether they were good or poor quality, he would put them in his bag. Strangely enough, the bag was never too full and never less than full; it was neither big nor small, neither fat nor thin-it stayed the same.

人家问他﹕「咦？布袋和尚！你的布袋是什么宝贝，为什么装不满呢？」布袋和尚笑嘻嘻地说﹕「喔！这袋子像人心一样，永远也不会满足，所以也就填不满了！」有一天，他遇着保福和尚，就向保福和尚化一文钱；保福和尚想试试他，便说﹕「你能说得出什么，我就给。」

People asked him, "Hey, Cloth Bag Monk, what treasures have you got in your bag? How come it never gets full?" With a smile the Cloth Bag Monk would reply, "This bag is like people’s minds, which are never satisfied. It can never be filled." One day, he met the Venerable Baofu and asked for a donation of one cent. The Venerable Baofu decided to test him and asked, "If you can give a good answer, I’ll give it to you."

布袋和尚笑嘻嘻地把布袋放下，叉手而立。保福和尚便问﹕「如何是众生？」布袋和尚笑嘻嘻地把布袋提起。保福和尚又问﹕「如何是佛法意？」布袋和尚又笑嘻嘻把布袋放下。保福和尚就知道他是个真悟道的高僧了！

The Cloth Bag Monk smiled, set his bag down, and stood there with his hands on his hips. The Venerable Baofu asked, "How would you describe living beings?" The Cloth Bag Monk smiled and picked up his bag. "What is the essential meaning of the Buddhadharma?" asked the Venerable Baofu. The Cloth Bag Monk smiled and set his bag down again. Then Venerable Baofu knew that he was a highly qualified Sanghan who had enlightened to the Way .

果然在布袋和尚圆寂后，人才从他留在破墙上的偈语，明白他原来是将来降生人间成佛的弥勒菩萨。布袋和尚以身说法，告示我们这世间的种种，我们要先提得起，容受得下；若是提不起，受不了，也就放不下，又怎能奢言出离，漫谈入道成佛？

After the Cloth Bag Monk passed into stillness, people discovered from a verse on a broken-down wall that he was Maitreya Bodhisattva, who will be the next to achieve Buddhahood in this world. The Cloth Bag Monk taught Dharma through his actions. He was telling us that we first have to be able to take all the things of this world; if we cannot take them, we will not be able to renounce them-then how could we talk about transcending the world, entering the Way, and becoming a Buddha?

那么，怎样才是提得起呢？就是要好好地做人！佛菩萨都是人成的，人都做不好，又怎能成佛？所谓「世事通晓皆学问；人情练达是文章。」做人圆融了，做事也就无碍了，又何愁修行不成？反之，若顶着修行的护身符，尽做些不通情理的事情，让别人不断起烦恼，那么别人不退失菩提心都算幸运了，还能发菩提心吗？

What does it mean to be able to take things? It means to do a good job of fulfilling one’s human obligations. Buddhas and Bodhisattvas all started out as people. If we aren’t able to fulfill our human obligations, how can we attain Buddhahood? There is a saying, "The understanding of worldly affairs is genuine knowledge. The skill of developing good human relations is comparable to that of writing an essay ." Once we perfect ourselves as people, we will have no hindrance in whatever we do. Then how could we not succeed in cultivation? On the other hand, if we say we’re cultivating, but do a lot of unreasonable things that make others afflicted, we would be fortunate if people didn’t retreat from their Bodhi resolve-how could we encourage people to bring forth the resolve?

所以菩萨是入世修行出世果，先把人情提起，再把恩怨了断。不要三级跳，未学行就想飞；入世的福德尚未栽，就想攀出世的觉果？栽培入世的褔德就要行仁；仁者人也，也就是忠恕存心，好好做人；做人，第一要知取予，明恩怨。

Therefore, Bodhisattvas cultivate in the world and attain a transcendental fruition. First they work on human relations, and then they cut off ties of love and enmity .We shouldn’t try to skip stages or to fly before we can walk. Before we have cultivated worldly blessings and virtue, how can we expect to attain transcendental enlightenment? The cultivation of worldly blessings and virtue happens through practicing humaneness. To be humane means to be human, to be a person with an attitude of loyalty and reciprocity. As a human, our first priority is to understand how to give and take, and to be clear about love and enmity ..

怎样才是知取予，明恩怨？知取予，前面说过「与宜多，取宜少」，也就是所谓的「分多润寡」，这是修的欢喜行，能令取、与双方皆大欢喜。但是要想分多润寡，须以「自奉简约」为先决条件；否则，就算贪念可以降服，但自给尚且不足，哪能有余资不足？

What does that mean? To understand how to give and take means, as an earlier line of text says, that "when giving you should be generous; when taking you should take a little less." It also means to "distribute the wealth to help the needy ." This is a joyful practice which makes both the giver and the receiver happy. In order to practice "distributing wealth to help the needy," we must first live frugally ourselves. Otherwise, even if we overcame our greed, we would not have any surplus to give to the needy. 

而明恩怨，在方法上要「施惠无念；受施莫忘」。所谓「受人涓滴之恩，当思涌泉以报。」因此报人恩要有长久心。至于施恩呢，则施时要有平等心，施后要有平常心。不但不要把它放在心上，更不可挟恩以要人；否则就算没招致祸端，自己也活得不舒坦。

To be clear about love and enmity, our method should be: "When giving, think nothing of it. When receiving, do not forget the kindness done to you." A saying goes, Having received kindness equal to a drop of water, you should try to repay it with a bubbling spring. Our resolve to reciprocate should be long lasting. When we do others a favor, we should do so impartially and think nothing of it. Not only should we forget about it, but we should never demand that others reciprocate the favor. Otherwise, even if nothing disastrous happens, we will not be able to live in peace. 

再进一层说，明恩怨，在原则上是要「以德报德；以直报怨」，并不是做没原则的滥好人或乡愿。以德报德，并非报之以一时的财物和便利，而是互勉互励，双方德业自然日日增上，自然后福无穷，所以说报恩长。以直报怨，是交付公理众意去裁决，而不循私意，委屈辗转地去报复，所以说报怨短。

Being clear about love and enmity at another level simply means, "to repay kindness with kindness, and to repay enmity with justice." It does not mean to be lenient with people no matter what. The repayment of kindness with kindness does not refer to a one-time gift or favor; rather it involves mutual exhortation so that both parties grow in virtue and reap boundless blessings in the future. Therefore the text says, "Kindness should be cherished forever." To repay enmity with justice means to let the public judicial system decide how to handle the matter, instead of dealing with it personally and seeking vengeance in an underhanded fashion. Therefore, the text says, "Let grudges be quickly forgotten."

若说圣贤怎么也报怨呢？圣贤只是不存心报私怨，但是对无法或无缘教化的少数恶人，有时亦须任其得到适当的制裁，以保障群体的福祉，令多数人有免于恐惧的自由，这就是君子的报怨；不报怨并非直心。事实上，造恶业者就算能逃得过有形的法律制裁，也终难逃其无形的业报。

Do sages also seek revenge? Sages have no personal grudges. However, on rare occasions when they are unable to teach and transform evil people, they must see to it that these individuals receive their just punishment, so that the society will not be endangered or terrorized. Such is the manner in which superior people respond to enmity. If they did not respond, they would not be acting in justice. In actuality, even if wrongdoers escape visible punishment at the hands of the law, they cannot escape their karmic retribution, which is invisible.

总之，古之君子有「交绝不出恶声」的说法，这是恕道，也是恩怨分明的做法；若是交绝出恶声，或以新怨忘旧恩，则怨隙日深，便是纷乱的开端，就好像下面这个大象报仇的故事。

In general, the great men of old would not slander those with whom they had severed relations. This exemplifies the principle of reciprocity as well as being clear about love and enmity .If people slandered their former friends or forgot about past favors in light of new grievances, enmity would deepen day by day, planting the seeds of turmoil. Consider the following story of the elephant who sought revenge:

从前有个印度人，家里有头老实的大象；大象每天渴了想喝水时，就会自己走到小河去；沿途一定会经过一个裁缝铺，裁缝师总是顺手给大象一点东西吃。有一天，大象又照例把长鼻子伸入窗户要东西吃，裁缝师碰巧没预先准备东西，又正忙得不可开交，就不理会它。大象或者以为裁缝师没看见它，就把长鼻子在窗户上弄得砰砰响。

Once there was an man in India who owned a very obedient pet elephant. Every day when the elephant felt thirsty, he would walk to a small river. Along the way, he would pass by a tailor’s shop, and the tailor would feed the elephant some tidbits. One day, the elephant inserted his trunk into the window as usual, wanting food, but the tailor happened not to have any food at hand and could not interrupt what he was doing, so he ignored the elephant. The elephant, perhaps thinking that the tailor had not noticed him, banged on the window with his trunk, making a racket. 

裁缝师一回头，用针在象鼻子上扎了一下，大象疼得赶紧卷起鼻子走了。大象到了河边，先喝足了清凉的水，又吸了满满一鼻子水，就往回走；走到裁缝铺，大象把鼻子从窗户伸进去，冲着裁缝师就喷，喷得裁缝师一身是水，连桌上名贵的布料也都打湿了。

The tailor turned around and pricked the elephant’s trunk with his needle, and the elephant, smarting in pain, quickly curled up his trunk and left-Walking to the river, he drank his fill of cool, refreshing water, then filled his trunk with water and walked back to the tailor’s shop. Sticking his trunk through the window, the elephant sprayed the tailor until he was soaked. The fine cloth on his table also got wet.

我们是高智慧的生灵，不要像这大象一样，不知体谅，不懂反求诸己，而做出以新怨忘旧恩的事情。

As highly intelligent beings, we should not be like the elephant, who, not knowing how to forgive or reflect upon himself, forgot about the kindness done him in the past after one unpleasant experience.

《菜根谭》云﹕「反己者，触事皆成药石；尤人者，动念即是戈矛。」人人若能时时反求诸己，事事推己及人，「己不欲，即速已」，自然可以辟众善之路，更可以浚诸恶之源；那么，世间又怎么会有辗转的纷扰，和连绵的战祸呢？

Vegetable Root Discourses has a saying, " For those who reflect upon themselves, every situation serves as a medicine. For those who complain about others, every thought is a spear. " If people could always look within themselves and be considerate of others, not doing to others what they would not like done to themselves, they will naturally open a path of wholesome goodness and stop all evil at its source. In such a situation, how could there be ceaseless turmoil, wars, and disasters?